Besides toxins, here are some other reasons why people lose treatments… Ken came to my office, suffering from a lifetime of trauma, grief, alcoholism (in recovery) and two years of severe back pain and migraines. He was so relieved that QT quieted the racing thoughts and stopped the pain and migraines. Halfway home, it all came crashing back in. In the next session, he said that as he was nearing home, he did a double take and said “this is not right. I don’t deserve this.” As we talked, an additional factor emerged. He felt that he was letting his vigilance down, scraping his defenses, unilaterally disarming himself and that he would get clobbered. We worked with the parts who felt they didn’t deserve the fullness of God’s blessing and physical and emotional health. Then we worked on conveying to the parts that the goal was healthier and even more effective defenses, to attune Kens radar so that bombers didn’t look like bees, and bees didn’t look like bombers. There were also behavioral changes to be made to help him step out of the family scapegoat role and develop his own identity.
The role he played in the family was very painful and humiliating, but it felt like the only role available. It was that or being an orphan. When things shifted in a positive direction, the initial feeling was about the loss of the known role and not the benefits of the change.
I find now that as clients are reading and studying the manual, the parts and forgiveness articles, and learning self testing, they are clearer when they are losing treatments or having parts resist and can either treat it themselves or else identify the problem to me, even if they can’t clear it themselves.
Robert Austin, Ph.D.